Rachel White

As kids, we were always passing through
some phase we knew would soon be gone—
and never soon enough. The sad blue

hours lasted longer then; it’s true
that time accelerates, till one
day, you find that all your days are through.

The trick is to avidly pursue
life as though its ending were unknown,
& not let the breathless hourglass throw

your humor. A dream we’re passing through,
no one knows what it means, whether to frown
or laugh. The gulf that seems to separate you

is an illusion, an untrue
condition that feels as real as rain,
but isn’t—try breathing in & through

to a still place that asks who are you,
really
? A grace that arose from bone,
obscure genius, just passing through

an attempt to unite our two
natures, the seen and the unseen,
a kaleidoscope of every hue,
the arc we are just passing through.

***

…was the name of the program at the planetarium
in the physics department where my father was employed,
helped put it together—matched images to the score,
Tomita’s Mellotron wobbling chords of Clair de lune,

momentous & metallic in outer space—
I would reverse the tape on the silver reel to reel
in our living room again and again, knew exactly how far
to rewind to hear it once more—a reverb of soaring light

and cosmic wind across an expanse of galaxies
like dancing snowflakes—(at three or four, perhaps
my earliest memory)  Afterward in the Opel Caravan
with wraparound glass—steel blue like clouds

of dust and gas that coalesce into stars—
the whole way home I couldn’t stop crying— 
Finally my parents pulled over to ask,
What has you so upset? 

They seemed so far away,
but persisted until I told them—
the sun will burn out— 
They laughed—

that will happen
in the distant future—
not understanding
that it made no difference.

***

Lost this month—you—
then your sweet old cats, two.
Their worn bones knew
they would no longer be seeing you.

They say things come in threes.
With these, I’m hoping for a reprieve
from death, at least for now…
the autumn sky has never been more blue.

***

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